1. Adrian – Everyone shut up.2. Oswego – Modest… and also gives something to strive for.
3. Amherst – My buddy Covelli goes there, great guy. And… they’re named the LORD JEFFS.
4. Elmira - So Dunning lets me play broomball again.
5. St. Norbert - My mom said their parents were nice at the Frozen 4 two years ago.
6. Geneseo - Buddy smaller than me, Ryg, goes there. Him, Elliot and Forgione…great guys.
7. Fredonia - Beat us 2 years ago, got 3 buddies there too: Aonso, Soscia, and Boyce…great guys.
8. Nichols - Bernie Nichols was sick on Chicago.
9. Middlebury - Bill Beaney plays 3-on-3 small ice games and I like that. Also, that chick from Harry Potter is going there next year.
10. Babson - Named the Beavers, and two guys had sick white skates.
11. St. Michaels - I was recruited there, and my brother’s name is Michael.
12. Assumption - I assume… they will be there.
13. All the WIS-campuses - Never know which one is which, but my buddy Pat Lee plays at Stevens Point and he has white skates.
14. Finlandia - Must be tough playing with jet lag.
15. RIT - I know you thought they weren’t eligible, but that’s what they wanted us to think, so they’re in.
Honorable mention: Platty… because I feel like this is the year Bob shakes hands and my boy Willock with one bicep plays there.
It's easy to tell the Wisconsin schools apart:
ReplyDelete1. River Falls has the fattest women.
2. Eau Claire has the hottest women.
3. Everyone at Stout looks like a man, so its women are open to...interpretation.
4. Everyone at Superior smokes meth and has mullets. Not flow. Mullets. Superior fans also leads the league in profanity per word.
5. Stevens Point has the best arena and best fans...even though Pat Lee wouldn't know what a backcheck was if it sat on his face. Which come to think of it, it probably has at some point.
Honorable mention is Plattsburgh, just because the Rowdy Crowd is pretty sure Emery skins cats in his free time.