Greetings From Philly

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. PHILADELPHIA, Pa. - Restless tonight/this morning at the Comfort Inn lounge room. Somewhere in this town a weary Ryan Seacrest is arriving jet-lagged and dreary-eyed from his acceptance speech at the Nickelodeon Teen Choice Awards in LA (he won Choice Movie: Hissy Fit for his scene in "Knocked Up"). He is probably staying somewhere more lavish than a Choice-brand hotel.

I also presume, at this moment, that Paula Abdul is being helped down off a table-top at a nearby hot spot. She is not above the Comfort Inn. I am still anticipating her arrival at the lounge to scout for the next Corey Clark (and guess who is wearing a contestant bracelet? Hint: starts with 'T', ends with 'his guy.').

Yes, it is that time. "American Idol" is back in production, already hitting their last stop of the season seven audition process (San Diego, Dallas, Omaha, Atlanta, Charleston and Miami were the other stops). Why am I here? Fantastic question, not sure. Apparently an Idol-hopeful I know thought I would make the best companion for this trip. Her boyriend disagrees.

We are approximately four hours away from checking out, packing up the car, driving to the Wachovia Center (where Allen Iverson plays approximately 40 games a year according to our hotel city guide) and lining up alongside some 15,000 dreamers and their loved ones (or male mistresses).

For those who are unaware, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula only see a few hundred of the "talent" pool. The rest are ushered away by producers as they line up a dozen at a time and sing in front of a long table on the arena floor. Registration begins 50 hours prior to auditions. People were lined up at 6 AM Saturday morning to sign up.

We left Syracuse at 11 PM, drove straight to the arena and were able to sign up at 4 AM Sunday with no line. Today my friend will get 15 seconds to impress these "American Idol" producers. Four-and-a-half hours in a car for 15 seconds. If she does not make it, there is a 100% chance of percipiation pouring out of here tear ducts. This will be an extremely uncomfortable moment for yours truly as I don't like sobbing and I don't like people who prevent me from making a Brian Dunkleman reference to Ryan Seacrest. Should she make it, then my next blog will be a first-hand account of Ryan Seacrest's right hook. A full account of my Philadelphia trip will soon follow.

Oh..and for those thinking 'I thought this was a sports blog'...YouTube Sports' Kige Ramsey is reporting that gymnastics, figure skating and skateboarding are sports. Hot dog-eating, checkers and Scrabble are not.